then + now

there was a time in our life when the words wouldn’t stop. presented in our head with their familiar rhythm, a melody that couldn’t wait to unfurl, dance with the fingers in heated bursts of songs that couldn’t seem to stop themselves. all around we heard the calls to create, lyrical invitations to sway with the day in front of us. coaxing us to play, hands dirty with this drive to make some sense of things.

oh the call never left, that pull to put the lyrics of a life on a page. but the inspiration did. the wanting. it waned as we scratched the walls of where we were, these points in life always confines of our own construction, that then sit there taunting. by-products of bad choices, of selling our self short. words muffled, stoned down to a hush. inspiration withered, last petals on the vine. eventually, there was nothing left to hear at all.

when a speed demon’s last thoughts are of the joy in motion, before they’re halted in someone else’s tracks. a lover of words, who only speaks in tongues is forced closed at the mouth, a sharp tongue caged. there is a reason.

and then the words returned. 

a warning, for the as-yet uninitiated: the universe always give us what we ask for. it never arrives in the form we desire. change, cunt she can be.

there are voices in our heads that don’t always use words. dis+missed as flights of fancy, wasted attention (why not check instagram). but these are the gifts. of good fortune. wisdom from another plane. the shit you knew all along. award them their place. heed the higher call, the one that knows better.  

transformation is not easy. we’re all just angels tryna wing it anyway, testing limits as we stretch into new skin. the point is the breakdown, to break it down for our selves. to come back together with more might and majesty. rebuilt from the remains of every version of this woman gone dark before her.

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